Gloomy

yesterday i thought we would hv photossss to upload...

but didn't...

all the photos we took yesterday very ugly...GOD...

we phoned Shawn and sang birthday song to him...yea, 4th of Jun is his birthday...we never forget it...

we had bought NEW MOON for him...but he wants the hard cover..so sad, we had bought already...

a big big big birthday card for him too~~ very very very expensive ==lll

i think yesterday is not our day...

cause when we went to SEOUL GARDEN, we saw lots of antssss there!!!

my god!!!!

but cause we were damn hungry...so didn't care bout it and just ate...

after that, we took picturessss...but no one is nice...

so bad...

its hot...so we headed to Claire's home...keep on taking picture...

besides, we had rehearsal for the birthday song...

but when we phoned, Shawn picked up the called and started speaking, we all loss of control and keep laughing...






i'll still sad for him...

since that night chat with Celine and after i saw all the encourages from my dear friends, i already have been learning not to cry for him anymore...

not to cry for him didn't mean i had forgot him...

i know i still love him...

he's not a mature man...i think "boy" is more fix him...

he never try to know what is the question and conflict between us...

what he knows is, he's sad...very very sad...

he keep living on his own world...

blame...he blame me...

i am hurt...i am sad...

firstly, he said i've been fall in love with the other guy...

but i didn't!!

if i am, then why and what should i sad for???

secondly, he said i am look down to him...

but i never!!!

if i am, why well we still together for this much long time???

thirdly, he said, he will marry, on the comming August...on my birthday...he even asked me will i appear on that day!!

i would not!!!

i still thinking that we would be together one day...when both of we are mature...we would be together...

but he took my hope away...day and day, i am disappointed...i am desperated...

and he told me clearly, he won't want this relationship again!!

okay! so what i sad for??

does he worth??

no!!

he didn't!!

he never think from my aspect...

well, i don't expect he would...

i just expect he will understand why i do so...

i wanna give both of us be strong...

i wanna give both of us time to be mature...

i wanna both of us thinking calmly...

i don't wanna the question and conflict bout us keep hanging there...

and everytime we meet, we will argue...

i don't wanna see his angry face everytime when he wanna go home...

i am sad...i am hurt...

we had been together for almost 3 years...

but look like he don't understand me very well...

opppsss...is not understood me at all!!

every every every promises he gave...never come true...

he broke every words...

but i am still happy with him...

he's not gentlemen and manism...

but i am still feel blissful with him...because i know he love me...

he's not thoughtful...

but i am still love him...so i can endure...


and last, i hope he will mature...

i hope he will get well soon...

i hope so much bout him...

but it don't worth...

heart broken...

i would hate you...but i hope not...

unfortunately, you made me hate you...

how much i love you, is that how much i hate you!!